Miss Imperial is now a done deal.
Here are the entries
you might have missed over the past year.
Thanks for checking in, and if you're still looking for me,
try The Memory Aid.

26 April 2007

"I know sometimes I can be all wrapped up and into me."

Collective Cabaret, Winnipeg, MB, 20-Oct-05

"Say enough is enough!"

Things I saw on TV last night:

A spokesmodel trying to pass as a musician.

[clearing throat]

"Dear Hilary (with apologies to Giulia),

This isn't about talent -- that sort of evaluation is terribly subjective and always hotly contested, anyway. This is about why are we calling it a music video? You've gone ahead and made a very long ad.

No doubt, all music videos are commercials in their own right, and the hip-hop world goes balls-out with product tie-ins all the time, but woman, PLEASE. I was all impressed that you decided to call out your ex-boyfriend and his junked-up toothpick of a girlfriend on your new, 'highly personal', record, but now it just seems like you constructed an album around a heartfelt song about perfume. Your single is a jingle.

I know you have a signature fragrance to launch and you want it to be a success, so of course you need to mass-market like there's no tomorrow, and maybe it's better that you're being totally obvious about your pitch. But really, it takes a special kind of shill to actually spray said fragrance on oneself, apropos of nothing, during the video. [See below; the money shot occurs at 1:06.] You couldn't have spritzed it on while you were still at home? If the scent is only worn in order to help the guy in the video identify you later, why even bother wearing the black wig disguise? You're no spy! Grr. I'm beginning to think that those shoes and that purse are Stuff by Duff, too! I suppose the new, huge teeth should have tipped me off to your disdain of subtlety...ah, subtlety...come back, subtlety! Subtle, subtle...subtle like those notes of mangosteen and chai latte and balsam and dfhjsfhdhrtenmfgjhkjhgouiuolmbbsfadadaxsxzzzsfssdghxxxxcmsdfmzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Maybe you need a new manager.

With Love,
Miss Imperial."

TRACK LISTING: Hilary Duff, "With Love"

[NOTE: That's LIQUID ICE in my photo, son! Ice-T represent! Or used to!]

1 comment:

Sonia said...

AHHH! I couldn't even watch the whole thing. That's pretty bad.