Miss Imperial is now a done deal.
Here are the entries
you might have missed over the past year.
Thanks for checking in, and if you're still looking for me,
try The Memory Aid.

22 August 2007

"Sharp! Like you pulled me out the pencil sharpener!"

Lee's Palace, Toronto, ON, 30-Mar-06

Like that student
in the principal's office!"

Things I saw this morning, while walking with PF to the subway station:

A man in a suit and sunglasses having the following conversation with a friend:

SUIT: Wait, what did you see?
FRIEND: Superbad.
SUIT (highly interested): Oh, yeah!
SUIT: Huh? It was funny?
FRIEND: REALLY funny. The theater was PACKED, too. Sold out.
SUIT: Huh.
FRIEND: I don't think I passed HazMat, though.
SUIT (quietly, reassuringly): You did.
FRIEND: No, I mean, you only have to get three wrong, you know?

It was at this point that PF and I reached the stairs leading down to the station, losing the conversation in the process. PF and I were unable to catch the guys again, so I told him about the confrontation I'd witnessed last night on the subway.

BLONDE TEENAGE GIRL (acting very "hard"): Hey, guy, watch those elbows!
TEENAGE GIRL WITH ICE CREAM CONE (acting equally "gangster"): What did you say to me?

["She called her GUY?" PF asked me, then burst out laughing.]

BLONDE: Yeah, you're hitting me.
ICE CREAM: Oh, no. Hold up.

(ICE CREAM bites into cone loudly, then launches into counterpoint rant with mouth full.)

Whrrfff thrr frrrhhh gwurrr hurrr msshhhh crunch crunch crunch!

BLONDE'S FRIEND (to BLONDE): Come on, don't do this.

(BLONDE sucks her teeth loudly and continues to glare at ICE CREAM, who has turned her attention back to her own friend.)

JAY (my friend, who is with me in the subway car): There is a surprising amount of testosterone in here.

Ice Cream kept smacking her lips like she was eating, even after she'd finished, then asked her friend, "Isn't it NASTY when there's nothing left in it?" She meant the cone, and her friend silently turned her half-eaten cone outward to show Ice Cream that some Rocky Road or whatever remained. Ice Cream shrugged. "I guess," she sighed, which was the last thing we heard as we got off the train.

Jay said, "That girl is SO Vicky Pollard!" I asked him which one and he replied, "All of them, really." Then I said that I didn't know who Vicky Pollard was so he had to point the character out on the back of a Little Britain DVD package, and I had to agree with what everything he said earlier.

TRACK LISTING: Mystikal, "Danger (Been So Long)"

[NOTE: The model in the image above is the wonderful John Caffery of Kids On TV and he AIN'T NO JOKE. Anyone who ever caught him dancing his ass off at Vazaleen undoubtedly remains in awe of the man.]

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